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Randall Douglas/Quotes
Conversing Greeting Friendly Terms * Hello, there! * Hey, kiddo! How are you? * What's going on, kid? * How are things? Good, I hope. * Hey, hey. * Goooood morning/afternoon/evening! Unfriendly Terms * Keeping out of trouble, right? * Are you keeping that nose clean? * Oh... hello. * Do you need something? * What do you want? * Yes? Ambient Conversation / Wandering Around / Idle Chatter' * What is that smell...? * Strawberries, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, red wine, cucumber-- cucumber?! ... Oh no. This is the wrong grocery list. * I hope no one can see those bruises... that would be hard to explain. (Chuckles) * (Whistles a jazzy tune) * (Hums a chipper tune) * (Wistful sigh) * … so I said to him, I’m not much of a ‘hands-on’ kinda guy. In fact, I’m not much of an ‘arms-on’ kinda guy either. * If that woman makes one more edit to this play, I am going key her car with my initials. * He's just so handsome ''and ''nice. I think I'll ask him later. Or... maybe tomorrow. Or next week... Ah, nevermind. * I wonder if I should start gelling my hair? Mmmm... nah. I'd have to start getting actual haircuts. * One day I'll move to Old Bullworth Vale. I'll get a real nice house with tall, wide windows, and a huge backyard. One day... * My begonias! I forgot to water my begonias! Oh, I hope they don't die... * There's a whoooole lotta ugly in this world... and a lot of it comes right out of Bullworth. '''Chapter 1 Idle (Alone) / Wandering * Lots of new students this year... * I wonder if Dr. Crabblesnitch finally got someone in to fix that leak in the break room. * Another year, another throng of teens who have no idea what deodorant is... I hope the AC was repaired. * I think I forgot today's lesson plan at home... Oh well. Looks like we're watching a movie, again. * I've already sent half of my students to Dr. Crabblesnitch to be reprimanded. * This is the year I put my foot down. No, Miss Peters, you can't tweak my school play - on account of your lack of taste... Oh god. I hope she didn't hear that. Idle (In Conversation) * I hope you didn't get into any trouble this summer. * Are you excited for another year? * Yes, I'm gonna handout our first project of the year next week, and yes, it is a group project. Yeah... I'm sorry. * Well, look at you. Did you get a tan over the summer? I hope you wore sunscreen. * Oh, wow - you actually came back this year! * New haircut? It looks... good. No, seriously. You kept the receipt, right? It looks really good, though, real good! = With Other Faculty = * So, how's kid's? Oh, that' right - how's the misses? I mean... the mister? Uh... how's your cat? * I see you're trying a new thing with your clothes. Did you find out about the second-hand store in Blue Skies or something? * I added a little somethin'-somethin' to my coffee this morning, and honestly? I'm still wasn't prepared for today. * Did you eat the last donut in the staff room? You know I brought those in, right? I didn't even get one. * I hope you printed off extra misconduct forms. I have a funny feeling we'll need them, this year. Chapter 2 Idle (Alone) / Wandering * I've been keeping tally of the fights I've broken up just this semester. If I had a dollar for each one... * I'll have to remember to bring in my lantanas before it gets any colder. I can't deal with another loss like last year's... * That kid has been nothing but trouble since he got here. * She had the audacity to add a musical number to my play. The audacity! * I think me and the Home Ec. teacher need have a little chat. Maybe over coffee. Or dinner. * Those little trust fund brats are up to something again, I can smell it. * That Smith boy must think he's the Devil's Advocate or something. I'll have to speak with him the next time he's in class... Idle (In Conversation) * How's that project going? Almost finished, I hope. * It's OK to have performance anxiety on the stage. And you know what? It's the cocky students who get the bad marks. So have fun with it, and try not to worry! * You're not one of those students who've been getting into those underground fights, are you? * Keep your nose clean, OK? I've been hearing a lot of talk lately. * Just try not to interact with those Harrington House kids and you'll be fine. They're just lookin' for a rise out you kids. * (To Preppies) Don't let me catch you starting anything, or you'll be seeing Dr. Crabblesnitch in his office. Got it? * (To Preppies) You. Keep your nose clean. Got it? = With Other Faculty = * Anyways, how's the weather treating you? * I'm already exhausted. Do you think it's just that time of the year? * The kids have just been awful, this year. It feels like we've been herding cats, doesn't it? * The kids have been talking about something called 'The Hole.' What in God's name is it, and should we be... I don't know... stopping it? * Those rich little brats have been causing me all sorts of issues. * Keep an eye on that Smith boy. He's up to something. * What in the world is that Hopkins child up to? Every time something goes wrong around here, he's always in the middle of it. Chapter 3 Idle (Alone) / Wandering * (Disappointed sigh) My poor geraniums died. They were the lovely violet ones, too... * Say what you want about Blue Skies, but I've never had my trailer egged with a baker's dozen. * Linda hasn't called me in a few weeks. I hope she's doing alright. * One of those shop-class kids hit my neighbour during one of those stupid street races. I should bring her a casserole or something and a 'Get Well' card. * It's hardly the weather for bike races, isn't it? Idle (In Conversation) * Almost midterms time! Have you been studying? * You've improved a lot, this semester! You delivered those lines really well, so don't be modest! * Do you know who's coordinating all these bike races? There's been a whole lotta them, lately. * Which one of you is Lola, again? * Where's that Jimmy kid? Is he the one starting all this trouble? Dr. Crabblesnitch might want to have a word with him... = With Other Faculty = * I keep hearing some very concerning rumours about that Lola girl. * A student asked - me! - to be co-president of The Bullworth Buds. Sure, all members are co-presidents... but still. That's pretty good for my second year as a teacher, right? * My story? What do you mean...? Oh! Right, the arm. Yeah, don't worry about it. * I see you got ready for winter early, did you? Do those extra pounds actually help to keep out the cold, or...? * Those trust-fund kids are entitled and inconsiderate, but those shop-class kids... they're ruthless. Chapter 4 Idle (Alone) / Wandering * My lilies are really thriving this spring - they're nearly as tall as I ''am! * (Clears throat) Jasen, hey. Did you want to maybe... go for dinner sometime, or...? No, no... (Clears throat more aggressively) Would you be interested in a date tomorrow night? (Sighs) Ugh... why am I like this...? * (Inhales and sighs sarcastically) Aah, spring... Nothing beats the smell of humidity mingling in the air with the stench of week-old BO. * I thought that old observatory was closed off...? * She tried to fondle my stump. Is that considered sexual harassment? * I should plant those bulbs before they dry out. '''Idle (In Conversation)' * No projects this week! You're welcome. * Do you know what goes on in that old observatory? I keep hearing the strangest things coming from that place. * Are you excited for the big football game coming up? * You should check out the gardening club if you're stressed. It's really quite relaxing! * If you see any, eh... inappropriate photos of your peers around town, do me a favour, will you? Tear them down and rip them up. With Other Faculty * Keep an eye out for troublemakers during the football game. There's been too much of that this year as it is. * You know it's spring, right? You can drop that winter weight, you're not hibernating anymore. * Did you see the Home Ec. teacher in those jeans yesterday? Hotchy motchy, amiright? * Dr. Crabblesnitch refuses to do anything about Miss Peters and her incessant need to ruin all of my plays. I thought about sabotaging her music sheets for revenge, but I doubt she'd even notice the difference. * Have you ever made a turducken? Turns out they're a whole lot harder to make with only one hand. Chapter 5 Idle (Alone) / Wandering * You got this, big guy... Just a few more months and then school is out. You got this... (Exhales tiredly) * 'Bullworthless?' I mean, really, how are these kids even coming up with this stuff? * It was lovely it quiet... for about a week and a half. * I've never seen a zit there before... * Those kids from the trailer park have been up to something. Sneaking around people's yards at night... * Have I lost touch with the children...? What's even 'hip' anymore? Idle (In Conversation) * Keep your nose clean, OK? Try to stay out of all this ugly trouble. * Is your project done? It's the last one of the year, so give it your all. * Have you seen Gary Smith? I want Dr. Crabblesnitch to have a word with him. * Not long now until the end of the year. Are you excited? * Any special plans for the summer? Not me. (Slow inhale/exhale) Yup... just gonna... hangout around home. I guess. = With Other Faculty = * You've been working on your summer body? Well, I'm glad you told me. I wouldn't have noticed, otherwise. Good for you. * You get a summer vacation? Well, lah-tee-''tah, Moneybags. * The kids have been acting awfully aggressive, haven't they? Tensions are high, among other things. * (Whispers) That Hopkins boy doesn't seem to have a lot of friends... Have you seen him lately? * (Whispers) Kids from Blue Skies keep sneaking onto campus. If you see any, tell 'em Randy'll talk to them later about it. '''Chapter 6' Idle (Alone) / Wandering * (Around campus only) Printer paper, #2 pencils, misconduct report... I think that's everything I need for next year. * (Around campus only) Oh, look at that - they already fixed those bells. * If I let those plants die over the summer, the gardening club is going to be destroyed... * I need to buy a new pair of flip-flops. * 10 bucks for a container of cherry tomatoes? Are you kidding me? Do I look like I have tomato money falling out of my ass? * It's not my healthy glow - it's just a sunburn. * I think Julie Andrews and I would've been friends. Probably. * Oh god, those deviled eggs are coming back to for a visit... (Nauseous belch) Idle (In Conversation) * What are you still doing here? Shouldn't your family have collected you by now? * I hope you've been reading this summer, keeping on your toes. * You aren't sticking around campus to get up to trouble, I hope. * Gary Smith? Uh... you kids don't have to worry about him causing issues around school, anymore. * I thought you were supposed to go on vacation? = With Other Faculty = * We earned this break, short as it is. Well, I know I'' have, at least. * Have you heard anything about that little brat who was causing all those issues? Last I heard, he was in Happy Volts. * Are you even getting paychecks to be here right now? * Do you have any hobbies? Other than talking to your cats and eating leftovers in a dark kitchen, I mean. '''What's Wrong With...?' ... Your Arm? * My arm? That's none of your beeswax, friend. * What about my arm? * My arm? Which arm? * You know, I'm not going to tell you about my arm, so you can just stop trying to figure it out. * OK, OK... Since you keep asking about my arm... ( : ) ** I lost it in a bet. ** It all started with a bad carpentry decision. ** It doesn't really matter. But you should've seen the other guy. ** Let's just say chainsaws aren't fun toys to play with. ** One word: Aliens. ** I'm not legally allowed to tell you, but... (Whispers) They came in the middle of the night. ** You can't tell anyone else, but... I'm a secret vigilante. I roam the streets at night and stop crime. Didn't you know this town is rampant with criminal ninjas and mercenaries? ** Let me give you some advice: Never shake hands with a nervous bodybuilder. ... Your Outfit? * I thought plaid was in style again. * What are you laughing about? Hypocrisy isn't very becoming, you know. * You're really laughing at my clothes when you're standing there looking like you raided Sharon Osbourne's garbage cans for your outfit? * I dress for comfort - you know, on account of being a legally recognized cripple. What's your excuse? * I'm sorry, I honestly can't hear you over the sound of these massively comfortable sandals. * Aww, look at you... You think you're funny, don't you? That's objectively the cutest thing about you. * I don't really care. Unlike you, I don't have to rely on my clothes to make me attractive. Carnival Idle / Wandering * The popcorn is so salty and buttery, it's absolutely vile... I love it. * Every time I come here, the owner asks me if I want a side gig in the Freak Show. * They won't let me drive a Go-Kart. That's just plain discrimination. I'll get in there one day... * I really hope none of that vomit got in my hair. * I wish those kids would get out of the porta-potties. I don't care what they're up to in there, I just need to pee like a racehorse. * I probably shouldn't have bragged so much before playing High Striker... When Spoken To * Oh, hey there, Jimmy. A fan of the traveling carnival, are you? * Watch out for projectiles by The Big Squid. Two kids threw up on that ride already. * Hey there, Hopkins. Having fun? * You're not here to cause any trouble, right? * Hello, Jimmy. Have you seen the Home Ec. teacher around? I was supposed to meet him here. Complaining * It's raining cat's and dogs outside. * Aw man... I have to walk home while it's pissing rain. * It's too cold to be outside. * No, no more snow... Come on, do you know how hard it is for be to shovel my walkway?? * Do I look like a specimen built to survive this kind of heat? * I've been outside for five minutes and I'm pretty sure I already have sunburn. * Another staff meeting? We just had one two days ago. I do have a life outside of work. * Ms. Denvers gives me the stink-eye every time she sees me. It's really getting uncomfortable. * Another freaking musical number in my play? Are you freaking kidding me? * Miss Peters complained to Dr. Crabblesnitch again after I turned down her musical numbers, so suddenly I'm the bad guy. * These kids... Lord, give me strength. * I still haven't figured out which one of those little brats put a dead rat in my coffee... * I feel bad for yelling at that kid, but... well, what the Hell was I supposed to do? That was an expensive prop! * I don't know what's worse: Derby Harrington regularly skipping my class, or regularly attending it. * Oh, if those trust fund brats only knew who they were talking to... * 'Cripple...' (Scoffs) I'll show you a cripple... * I just need, like, a 15-minute nap. That's all. Please... * Ugh, my head... I shouldn't've had that extra glass, last night... * Where are my sunglasses? I can't deal with this light, right now... Surprised to Receive Help * Oh! Uh... thanks, kiddo. * Whoa! Thanks for the help. * This is awkward... Thanks, Jimmy. * Oh, I-- Thanks for the help, Hopkins. * I didn't even see you there - thanks for the help! Helping * Hey! Need help? * Incoming! * The cavalry has arrived! * I may be a cripple, but I have a mean kick. * Watch out, Hopkins, I've got a wide radius! * Helping! * Need help, Jimmy? Flustered * Uhhh... * I'm-... I've got to go. * W-what? * Oh... * Err... what? Confused * What in the world...? * What are you on about? * What's that supposed to mean? * Hmm? * What's even happening, right now? * Aah? Congratulating * Outstanding work! * Congratulations! * Well, you certainly did it! * Well, would you look at you? * Good job, kiddo! * That's awesome! Bumped Into Friendly Terms * Oops. Sorry about that. * Excuse you. * Coming through. * Oof! Oh, sorry, kiddo. * Ouch! Ah, it's alright... Unfriendly Terms * Will you pay attention to what you're doing, please? * Ow, you stepped on my toe! * Ack! Calm down, will you? * Oof! You need to slow down! * And where are you off to in such a hurry? Open your eyes! Saying Goodbye Faculty Friendly Terms * Anyways, I'd better get back to work. Talk later? * I'd better get back to it. * We'll talk later. * Swing by my classroom later if you want to talk. * Anywho... I'll see you later. Unfriendly Terms * Bye, then. * And that's that, I guess. * Anyways, I don't really have time for chit-chat. * I have to head back to the drama room. * Well, I've got to get some work done. Students Friendly Terms * See you around. * Visit me at lunch/after school if you still need someone to talk to, OK, kiddo? * You should probably get back to class. * Okie dokie, kiddo. * See you in class tomorrow. Unfriendly Terms * Why aren't you in class? * Can't you see I'm busy? * I've got to go. * Uh-huh... Anyways. * I'd better see you in class tomorrow. Jimmy Hopkins Friendly Terms * I'll talk to you later, Jimmy. * I've got to go edit that script, Jimmy. * If you don't need anything else, Hopkins, then I've gotta get going. * See you around, Hopkins. * Welp... You know where to find me if you need help, Jimmy. * You'll be in class tomorrow, right, Jimmy? Unfriendly Terms * Keep your nose clean, Hopkins. * I've got my eye on you, kid. * Alright, Hopkins, uh... leave me alone, please. * Go get some schoolwork done or something, Hopkins. * You're being awfully annoying, Hopkins. * Hopkins, can you go do something productive, please? Combat / Apprehending Students / Chasing Spotting a Weapon * What is that in your hand? * Hey! What are you holding? * What is that? Hand it over! * What made you think that's OK to bring to school? * If you brought that to any other school, there'd be a campus-wide lockdown. Give it to me, or put it away. * Don't let the Prefects catch you holding that thing. * What are you planning to do with that? * Put that thing away! * If you don't hide that thing, you're going to end up in Dr. Crabblesnitch's office. Chasing * Hey! Don't make me run after you! * Do I look like I'm dressed to run? Make this easy! * If you make me work for it, you're not going to like it when I catch you! * Ohhh, no! You're not getting away that easily! * I'm missing an arm, not a leg! I can still catch you! * Hey! Hey! ''Where are you going?! '''Escaped From' * OK... Where did you go? * Where'd they go...? * I had my eyes on you the entire time - how'd you get away? * Ugh... little brat. * Alright, this isn't funny. Come out where I can see you before I really get mad! * Do you see me laughing? This isn't funny. Where are you? * He's/She's getting away! Stop them! Out of Breath * It's never... the kids like you... who go missing... * Aah... I knew that garbage would come back to bite me in the ass... phew... * You... need... to... stop... * Yeah, that's right... run away from the cripple... * You... You got real lucky... * Aaugh... Lord... I thought I was in better shape than this... * Just... just gimme a minute... Apprehending Student * I told you I'd catch you, punk! * I got you, you little brat! * I warned you! * You played the game and you lost, punk! * You know you really pissed me off when I've got to tackle you, kid! * You shouldn't have tried that, brat! Calling for Help * I need assistance! * Can I please get some help, here? * Help! * I need some help! Pranked * Are you kidding me? * This is why kids like you get bullied. * You're really testing my love, here. * Oh, you really tickled your own bones with that one, did you? Yeah, hilarious. * Do you think your some sort of comedian? * Try that stunt again when you see me in Blue Skies. Then we'll see who walks away laughing. Disgusted * Ah, yes. Youth. Discovering all the world and how truly disgusting it can be... * Oh, that is... That's just vile. * Um... gross? * Well, that's genuinely just disgusting. * That. Is. Awful. * Ew. Don't Hit * Don't you even try it, kid! * I'm not even kidding when I say I will get you expelled if you hit me. * If you hit me, I will hit you back. * Are you actually going to hit a teacher, you little brat? * Don't you dare! * You wouldn't hit a cripple, would you?! Errands Beckon * Jimmy, could you do a favour for me? * Hey, Jimmy... I need a favour. Are you busy? * Jimmy, can you help me? Won't take long, I promise. * Hey, Hopkins! I need a hand. Got a minute? * I know this isn't appropriate for a teacher to ask, but I need you to get something done for me. I'll pay you? Denied * Oh, it's alright. I'll figure something out. * Are you sure? Well... OK. Thanks anyways. * It's fine. Thanks anyways, Jimmy. * Maybe another time, then. * Not even if I pay you? Alright then, Jimmy... Completed * Thanks, Jimmy! I really appreciate it. Here's your payment. * Here's your money, Jimmy. Means a lot. * Awesome job, kiddo. Thanks! Got your payment for you. * And your payment, kiddo. Thanks! Fight Instigated * Are you really going to try me, kid? * You don't want to fight me, punk! * Do you find it appropriate to attack a teacher? * Hey! I'm a cripple! Don't try me! * I've got a mean backhand, kid! * If you think a fully-grown crippled man won’t try to take you down, you’re dead wrong. * I have a nasty left-hook. * Me? Oh, I’m just a distraction for my other arm. Look out behind you! * Come on, get a little closer. Or are you afraid of Mr. Righty, here? * (If there is a nearby rival clique member to the attacker) Hey! Give me a hand! * (If there is an authority figure nearby) Someone, please – I’m being attacked! Spit On * Um. Ew? * Oh, gross! What is wrong with you? * Oh my god, I know you did not just do that. * Do you want a freaking slap? * You're gonna come up missing if you try that again. Taunting (Off-Campus, Only if Provoked) * Who do you think you are? * Dr. Crabblesnitch isn't here to write me up for kicking your punk ass, you little brat. * You've got a lot of attitude for such a small, easy-to-kick human. * Picking a fight with a fully-grown adult? You're a special kind of stupid. Hit in Groin * Augh! My boys! * (High-pitched sream) Not my jewels! * Aah! A low... blow...! * (Cry of pain followed by gentle sobbing) Beaten/Knocked Out * I’ll see you... in class… * You... little punk... * I can't believe... you hit a cripple... * (Low groans of pain) * Don't go toward the light, Randy... Bikes / Miscellaneous Bike-Related Comments Negative Comments * Nice bike. Did you get it from the kiddy section? * You know you can, like, clean your bike, right? To keep looking... good? * Did you put your bike together all by yourself? It shows. * Your bike sucks. Positive Comments * Hey, cool bike. * Nice bike, kiddo! * Keep takin' care of the bike, kiddo, that's what I like to see. * Cool ride, kiddo. Crashing Bike * Ow. * Smooth move, exlax. * Look ma, no han-- oh shit! * I can't afford to lose another body part. Not like this. * That was cool as ice... * I'm... a bit rusty, I guess. Seeing Bike Trick * Hey, slick! * Neat! How'd you do that? * Whoa-ho! Look at you go! * Nice one, kiddo! * That was pretty neat, kiddo! Reacting to Failed Bike Trick * Haha! * Ooh, ow... You'll feel that tomorrow. * Hahaha... nice. * Niiiice one, kid. * You nailed it, kiddo. Bike Stolen From * What the-- Hey, you little brat! Give that back! * This is the equivalent of stealing candy from a baby, you heartless brat! * Hey! That's all I have! * I know your face! I know what classes you have! I won't forget this! * I'll get you expelled for this, punk! Fire Alarm * Which one of you little crotchspawns did that? * Single file, kids! Find the exits! * Alright, guys, you know the drill. And make sure you actually go back to your classes, this time! * (If he sees someone setting it off) Hey! You know you’re not supposed to do that! * (If he sees someone setting it off) Great, now I have to report you. Thanks for making me the bad guy. Puking * Oh... oh god... * I-- (Aggressive vomiting noises) * Here's comes my lunch... * Huagh! Aw, gross! * I'm about to start blowing chunks! Get out of the wa-- blawwrgh! Hit by Dead Rat * What the-- Aww, come on. * Aww... poor little guy. Why would you do that to him? * Poor little man... Have some respect, will you? * That didn't hurt, it was just gross. What compelled you to do that? Hit by Stink Bomb * (Coughing) Oh, good. This is cool and fun and awesome. Thank you for that. * (Violently coughs and gags) * (Coughs) I’m going to have to confiscate that. Not because it’s against the rules, but 'cause I’m going to go hog wild if I get hit by the flak of one more of those stupid things. * Congratulations on discovering the fastest way to become the most hated person in any crowd. What's That? * Hm? What was that? * Did you hear something? * I think I'm finally losing my mind... What did I just hear? * What...? * What's that noise? Witnessing Vandalism * OK, enough of that now! * What do you think you're doing? * That's just plain disrespectful. * Why would you do that? * What are you so angry about? Who hurt you? * Can you not?